Well, here goes. For an hour a day I plan on writing. At this time, there is no goal as to WHAT I’ll be writing about, but to just keep it going. Lists, thoughts, stories, poems, songs…I don’t think it matters much yet, just as long as I keep at it.
My favorite thing to do is to write lists. About most anything really. Laundry, groceries, life dreams, packing for trips to the country, lists about what I’d most like to be doing for the next week. Those kinds of things. I keep a little moleskin notebook with me at all times just for this purpose. It was originally purchased so that I could write tiny poems inside of it, but it has turned into my to-do notepad.
Grocery lists are a common topic, as are various plants for the garden. I could say that those are the main topics. With a few addresses, phone numbers and song or two intermingled. The notebook itself is of a journalist’s style. It flips up and over, as if I’d be jotting down quotes from the Speaker of the House on it.
Today I picked up two new (to me) books and a magazine from Powell’s. All on writing. How to write, what to write, how to write something good…It is also my goal to read for an hour a day, separate from writing. I hope to regain what has been lost over the past few years. My imagination. The two books I purchased were: “Writing for your Life” by Deena Metzger and “The Portable MFA in Creative Writing” by the New York Writers Workshop. I already own, “On Writing Well”, “Writing Tools” and “A Triggering Town”. I am determined to read through these next, forgoing the usual rounds of crafty and Russian types. Oh! I also snapped up a copy of “Poets and Writers” (for the ads in the back mostly).
Then, at about noon, Rodney and I drove to meet Douglas at his jobsite. A nice old house in the Irvington district, the living room is the size of our house! Douglas and I went for a walk around the neighborhood, and while he ate his sack lunch, we talked about our goals, money, the dog, Sebastian…a feeling of “WHAT IN THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?!?!” has been pervasive in our conversations of late.
What we talk about a lot in regards to our goals is music (the lack thereof at this point) moving to a tiny farmhouse, having kids, and making a living doing the things we love. Making that happen. Soon.
Douglas would like to make his music for a living, tour, and be able to write poetry. I would love to be able to write, create, raise children, make music, and garden.
We need health benefits.
So how will we go about this? What will be our starting point? Should we even really try to bother doing these things? Are some options more viable than others? Have we made terrible decisions up to now?
In my heart of hearts, I believe life is beautiful. Short, and amazing. We have just a sliver of consciousness that I shudder to think we spent our entire adult lives worrying about making the mortgage, and not making music together. At the same time, we have responsibilities. We need: shelter, food, clothing, books, and the little things that make life fun and worthwhile. To live a life that is rich, without the entrapments of being “rich”.
At Powell’s today I also filled out a job application. Working there would be a little bit of financial relief as well as the mental comfort of having benefits. I hope that working at Powell’s would reveal to me the local community of writers that Portland holds. It is time to plug into that dream.
In that vein, there is also Goddard College. A BA in Creative Writing and a low residency program that is in WA State. I think I would very much enjoy that if writing were to be my path. That program seems like a decent way to go, and then onto an MFA? Who in the heck knows?!?! I enjoy so many things. I often times find myself feeling terrible in that I can’t ever just decide. Fortunately, I have Douglas, who is such an amazing support system.
I know that I have stories to tell. I just need to take the time to let them loose. To listen to myself. To learn the craft of writing. I suppose what I need the most is time…space.
Tomorrow?
Well, I’m starting my MFA program this fall, so I’ll gladly share assignments with you :).
Muahaha! Can’t wait. Actually I am taking a few courses at PCC this fall (hopefully) just to get my school chops back in operation. Ya know? Maybe we can have little study get togethers…